


Fragmented

by sunaddicted



Series: The way you said "I love you" [10]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Sad, Slice of Life, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunaddicted/pseuds/sunaddicted
Summary: [...] there was so much beauty in destruction that the common eye refused to pick out and admire, as if jagged edges and harsh cracks couldn't be appreciated when they were part of something that once had been whole.
Relationships: Annatar/Celebrimbor | Telperinquar, Celebrimbor | Telperinquar/Sauron | Mairon
Series: The way you said "I love you" [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573432
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Fragmented

**Author's Note:**

> "when broken glass litters the floor"

_Fragmented_

There had always been a sense of wrongness about him that Tyelpe hadn't quite managed to pin down and fully grasp until he found himself staring at the floor littered with shards of glass - seemingly, the entirety of the kitchen cupboards had been upended on the floor, forlorn shattered mugs and plates in pieces bearing testimony to the destruction carried out by a hurricane of flesh and bone rather than wind. 

"Mairon"

"Tyelpe"

Despite having been together for some time, Tyelpe could never really read what was going on in the other's mind, let alone when Mairon was actively trying to shield himself behind the coldest tone of voice he could muster up - a melody of nothing.

He looked at the other as one looked at someone dangerous to themselves and whoever else happened to be in their vicinity. Tyelpe was tracking every shudder of Mairon's ribcage; every nervous glance shooting around the destroyed kitchen; every twitch of his fingers - there wasn't a single thing about his behaviour that suggested calmness or peace of mind and Tyelpe felt wary about crossing that sea of shattered porcelain and glass, only to arrive to an island lost to the thundering sea rather than to a safe haven. 

Still, he had to do something - they couldn't stay like that for forever, poised over the precipice where the lightest gust of wind would be enough to make them lose their balance and push them down to their deaths.

"Mairon"

The red-headed man blinked, his attention skittering back to his partner when he heard his name once again: Tyelpe's voice had always had a grounding effect on him, forcing him to shut the voices in his head up and focus on the present - on the man currently standing on the other side of the room, looking at him as if the floor had been cluttered with chunks of cadavers rather than a bit of broken china that could be easily substituted with a trip to IKEA. 

"Tyelpe"

Somehow, hearing the other say his name was comforting: there were times when Mairon seemed completely detatched from reality, lost to a universe of his own making - his gaze turned inward rather then outward. It made Tyelpe fear that one day, Mairon wouldn't re-emerge from his intense self-contemplation; however, as long as the other kept saying his name, it meant that he was still with him - right?

Right.

He really hoped he was right.

"What happened?"

"I broke some things"

"And why did you?"

Sometimes, getting Mairon to talk felt like prying a tooth with rusty clamps and no anaesthetic to make the patient mellow in his pain.

Anyone else would have given up on him a long time before - not Tyelpe. 

It made Mairon wish he had a good explanation to give to the other man, something that would be worth the bother and the pain of having to clean up after his outburst - but he didn't have any justifications, he didn't have any reasons why what he had done made any sense. So, Mairon pursed his lips as he let his eye shift back on the broken pottery on the floor, momentarily distracted by the splatters of colours amongst the white of the porcelain and the transparency of glass; there was so much beauty in destruction that the common eye refused to pick out and admire, as if jagged edges and harsh cracks couldn't be appreciated when they were part of something that once had been whole. 

"Mairon"

He let himself be recalled to the moment again, even if he didn't have a better answer for Tyelpe. Mairon shrugged again, more evident than before, and paired it up with a slow and helpless shake of his head, eyebrows knitting when his hair fell into his eyes.

Tyelpe sighed "Alright. That's alright, the most important thing is that you're not hurt - are you hurt?"

"No" the words felt like sandpaper on the dry walls of his throat: Mairon knew he had screamed while he had smashed everything he had been able to get his hands on and that, at some point, he had lost his voice in the middle of their quaint little kitchen that had seen a shadow fly upon it - something dark that neither Mairon nor Tyelpe would put into words with the fear of making it more real "No, I'm not hurt"

"Not even your feet?"

Mairon shook his head because he didn't feel pain but then he remembered that he didn't always realise he was hurt so, he balanced against the counter behind his back and bent his leg, bringing the sole of his foot into view - intact "Not even my feet" he reassured now that he had proof, confident that his eyes weren't lying - and even if they had been, Tyelpe would have been able to see ribbons of red blood cascading in rivulets from his foot to dot the white linoleum with crimson droplets.

"I'll get you a pair of shoes, stay there"

"Okay"

"Don't move"

"I won't"

Still Tyelpe hurried and when he went back to the kitchen, shoes in hand, he wasn't ashamed to admit that his heart was hammering a little with anxiety at the thought that Mairon might have forgotten himself - he couldn't possibly put into words how relieved he was to see the other man still rooted on his spot. Tyelpe carefully made his way over, trying to keep his steps as light as possible, tensing as the shards crunched beneath his feet; having shoes on was no guarantee that a particularly nasty shard wouldn't pierce the sole and hurt his feet, he had to get that mess cleaned up as soon as possible before they had to go to hospital with a cut that needed stitching at best or glass buried deep in the tender flesh of their feet at worst - something Tyelpe didn't really feel like explaining to the ER doctor who would end up treating them. 

Tyelpe wordlessly handled Mairon his shoes - the only pair of sensible ones he owned and that he never saw the other wearing, aside from those rare times his partner decides to do some yoga - and put his hands on his waist, efficiently steadying him while he put on the shoes "Alright, let's get you to bed"

Mairon frowned, fingers curling in the Tyelpe's shirt, unbelievably still looking ironed and well pressed after a day of work "I'm not tired" he wasn't.. anything: he wasn't tired, he wasn't excited, he wasn't angry, he wasn't sad - the thought of Melkor had suddenly popped up amidst his thoughts and Mairon's brain had simply gone offline while his hands tore the cabinets open and dragged everything down to the floor. 

He wasn't going to tell that to Tyelpe, though: his partner always got that rigid air about him whenever he mentioned Melkor so, Mairon stopped naming him - it didn't mean he didn't think about him, though, and he was sure Tyelpe was aware of that as well.

There must have been a reason why he hadn't pushed for an explanation for the mess he had walked into - a reason why he never pushed, never dug too deep whenever Mairon did something abnormal. He just took it in stride, feeling blessed in his ignorance, and cleaned up after him as if making the mess disappear would dissolve the problem as well. 

"I love you" he did. He really did - in his own way.

Tyelpe softened, a small smile tilting up his lips "I love you too, Mairon"

**Author's Note:**

> idk this is random and sad


End file.
